


Reckless

by dazedog (Ayanon)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Illustrated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 16:16:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11832381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayanon/pseuds/dazedog
Summary: Hughes was dead and Envy would burn.





	Reckless

His eyes were so dry that it hurt to blink. The air had become hot in the underground tunnels, but the heat would be gone as quickly as the smell of burning flesh. What regenerated didn’t reek for long. It screamed and squirmed for a while, then it got back on its feet and ran away.

What hadn’t subsided and wouldn’t for quite a while was Roy’s heat. He would find Envy and take his revenge, whatever cheap illusions it would come up with. That thing could take on Hughes’ form or that of any of his friends, for him it would make no difference. Hughes was dead and Envy would burn.

Roy licked his lips and tasted salt. His tongue was colder than his skin. His fingers itched with impatience, he flicked a small fireball through the air.

“Where are you?” he called and turned the corner. From a distance he could hear steps; stumbling, fleeing steps. Hopefully Envy was scared. The thing had to pay for Gracia’s tears and Elicia’s pain at her fathers grave. And for him, Roy, who would never again receive calls distracting him from work, who would never see family photos on his desk where Hughes had forgotten them. Riza tended to collect them with a straight face, banishing them into a cardboard box in Roy’s desk. Recently he had made the mistake of opening it. The photos appeared lifeless without Hughes waving them around in his face and asking if there had ever been a cuter little girl than Elicia.

 

The flames licked across the wall and left a trail of soot. He still heard the steps, voices, or only one, he didn’t care. Envy had to burn, in every guise. The tongue first? The eyes?

He turned around another corner and then Riza stood in front of him, her weapon at the ready. Roy had told her to stay back, but there was no way Envy could have known.

Riza pointed her weapon at him for a moment, then she sighed and lowered it. “Colonel Mustang.”

“Stop trying to fool me!” Roy spat and snapped his fingers. 

A wall of fire raced towards her, catching her waist first and engulfing her. She screamed with the voice of a woman, but Roy only heard the wail of the one who had murdered his best friend. With his other hand he sent a second wave even though Envy was still burning and it would have no effect. It didn’t matter. He had as much fire as he wanted.

 

The cries became weaker. Envy slumped down, the fire searched in vain for more prey on the concrete floor. It reeked of burnt fabric and flesh, a smell that Roy had not been able to forget ever since Ishval.                                                  The flames grasped at the last black remains, flickered and died at last. The faceless, charred thing on the floor didn’t move.

“What is that supposed to accomplish?” Roy growled. “Regenerate.”

It didn’t. His hands shook, he wanted more fire, more heat. He had to ball his hands into fists to prevent his fingers from acting on their own.

A quiet giggle came from one of the adjacent hallways.

“Who is there?”

The giggling turned into a giddy cackle. Someone peeked around the corner.

“Who is there?” Envy parroted and laughed. Roy didn’t understand. Envy could change its appearance, not duplicate itself.

His gaze wandered to the body on the floor.

The laughter rang louder in his ears, seemingly coming from everywhere. He had ordered Riza not to follow him. She never disobeyed his orders. He wanted to step closer, but his legs wouldn’t move. He wanted to call her name.

Envy laughed.

He had to think of Fullmetal’s stare, back when he had believed that Roy had murdered Lieutenant Ross. Roy had returned the look without trouble because his conscience had been clean. He hadn’t killed anyone.

He had told Riza to stay behind.

His head felt like it was about to burst, his mouth was dust-dry. Everything smelled of burnt flesh. Envy laughed. And there was Hughes, handing him his water flask after a long day in Ishval, who didn’t ask how many people Roy had killed today because Hughes didn’t care. Hughes had always been there and now he was dead and buried and no fire in the world would bring him back.

Why had it taken him so long to realize that fire only destroyed? And why had Riza followed him? He had told her to stay behind. She hadn’t listened to him.

* * *

He jolted awake with a cry and saw nothing but darkness.

“Colonel Mustang!” A voice came from his left. Breda. “Is everything alright?”

Roy’s heart pounded in his head, but he could recall the memory. They had brought him to the hospital. He took a few deep breaths, though it did little to calm his pulse. His fingers gripped the fabric draped over him. He knew the feeling of hospital beds and sheets all too well.

The first question that came to his mind was why Breda had decided to visit him in the middle of the night. Then the memories came rushing back and he held his tongue. He could do without an awkward silence.

“I am fine. Strange dreams, that was all.”

“You were really restless in your sleep.” This time it was Fuery who spoke, a little further away, somewhere in front of him.  “We even thought about waking you up.”

Roy shook his head and wiped the sweat from his neck. “Is Hawkeye here?”

For a moment he was sure that it had been the wrong question. Fuery and Breda would hesitate and Breda would say “don’t you remember…” and Fuery’s steps would stumble out of the room.

“I am here, Colonel.”

She sounded softer than usual, tired, but she was there, to his left. Roy let out a quiet breath.

“What time is it?”

“You missed breakfast,” Breda answered. “Are you hungry?”

He wasn’t. In spite of his racing heart his body was heavy as if he actually had woken up in the dead of night, and it was an awful feeling to know that he couldn’t stand up and walk because he wouldn’t be able to find the door.

“A little,” he responded after a pause.

Breda’s voice was markedly casual and Roy knew that he had understood. “Then we will see that you get something to eat. Fuery?”

Chairs skidded over the floor. “We will be back soon,” Fuery said.

Roy nodded. “Thank you.”

Two pairs of steps moved away from him, a door was opened and closed again. The following silence wasn’t entirely comfortable. He stretched his fingers, trying to sort his spinning thoughts.  

“If there is anything else you need, you can say it,” Riza’s faint called him back to reality.

He gave a short laugh. “You sound like you need more rest than me.”

“I would still manage to call a nurse.”

“How are you?”

“I lost a lot of blood and can’t move my arm for now, but it will be okay.”

“That is good.”

Neither of them spoke for several moments. At least his heart started slowing down.

“I had a nightmare,” Roy said.

“We saw. Do you want me to wake you the next time?”

“Yes.”

“As you wish, Colonel.”

“I’m relying on you, Lieutenant.” He wanted to look at her. “Less because you follow orders. That is a required for employment. I rely on you because you know when to ignore an order.”

“What do you mean?”

“That you followed me into the tunnels to stop me. I want to thank you. Who knows what I would have done to Envy.”

Her bed sheets rustled. “Don’t mention it.”

“But you endangered yourself. You knew as well as me that Envy could take on any form it wanted. What if I had confused you for Envy?”

She chuckled. “You would have been wise enough to verify my identity. It’s what I did for you, after all.”

He turned to her. “You did?”

“Envy had turned into you but fell for my trick question. When we met shortly after that I knew it had to be you.”

Roy stayed quiet.

“You would have done the same,” she said, and he wondered if there had been a hint of rebuke in her tone.

“Probably.”

“ _Probably_? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well… Maybe I would have merely been happy to see you? And not known what to ask. Without proof that you were Envy it would have been better to trust you for the moment, right?”

“You cannot be serious.”

“What would you prefer, then?” he snapped. “That I simply assume you are Envy and light you on fire?”

Riza didn’t respond.

“I am sorry.” He wiped across his forehead. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice.”

“You are tired,” she responded. “Rest a little longer.”

“I just wanted you to know…” Roy grasped for words. “I would never attack someone close to me. It was different with Hughes. Hughes is dead.”

“Did Envy take his appearance?”

“Yes.”

“You knew it couldn’t be him,” she said calmly. “It was a logical conclusion that it had to be Envy, and a rational decision to attack.”

“Nothing I did to Envy was rational.”

“You still don’t have to blame yourself because of Hughes.”

His left hand wandered to his hair and grabbed a fistful. “What if had been you?”

“Did it happen?”

“No. But it could have.”

“Then you hopefully would not have been reckless enough to trust it just because it wore my face.”

Roy didn’t answer. Even her silence sounded reprimanding.

“At any rate,” she spoke up again, “Envy is dead. Nobody else can change their looks so much, so you won’t get a chance at killing yourself with your recklessness. Which means I have one less thing I need to worry about.”

Roy had to laugh. “That’s what you are worried about? Not that I could be too suspicious and kill you?”

“You wouldn’t.”

“In my dream I did.”

“In your dream,” she repeated. “Whatever happened in it, it did not really happen. Both of us live and Envy is dead.”

He pressed his lips together. His right hand below the blanket moved on its own again, trying to flip his fingers. He grabbed it with his left.

“We will do it like this. In case of doubt I will choose to act reckless, and you will stay close behind to be smarter than me,” he decided.

Riza breathed, perhaps she was laughing. “Is that an order, sir?”

“Absolutely.”

“I will be there,” she said. “Though until I am back on my feet you will have to take care of yourself.”

“I can manage that. Barely.”

This time she definitely was laughing. For a split second the stench of burning flesh and the sound of her screams returned. If he had the choice between risking his life with recklessness or hers with distrust he knew what he would choose.

**Author's Note:**

> Written once again by Niekas and translated (and drawn) by me :D  
> If you see any mistakes please tell me, as I am not a native speaker and would like to improve. Thank you for reading!


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